Summary: It's not that Hikaru doesn't enjoy Pavel's company. But really, enough is enough.
Disclaimer: Not my characters.
Note: Written for hc_bingo. Prompt: "Monophobia (fear of being alone)."
It's not that Hikaru doesn't enjoy Pavel's company. But really, enough is enough.
It's their first day back at the Academy after the Nero incident, and Pavel has been clinging to Hikaru all day, like he doesn't know what to do with himself now that the two of them aren't side by side on the bridge. At first, Hikaru doesn't mind; Pavel is a pleasure to be around, bright and funny (sometimes unintentionally) and, if Hikaru is completely honest with himself, not bad to look at either. But now it's two in the morning, Hikaru has been watching movies in Pavel's room for the past five hours and fighting sleep for the past two, and he just wants to go back to his room and pass out.
Pavel looks up at him inquisitively as he stands and stretches, working the stiffness out of his joints. "I should head out," he says. "It's getting pretty late."
"Oh." Pavel stares down at his lap. "Yes. Okay."
Hikaru takes pity on him and places a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I'll see you in the morning, all right?"
"You could spend the night," Pavel suggests hopefully. "If you wanted."
"Yeah, thanks, but I sleep better in my own room, you know?"
Pavel stands. "Well, then, let me walk you back."
Hikaru's impatience gets the better of him. "For god's sake, Pavel, can I have five minutes to myself, please?" He regrets it immediately. Pavel's face falls, and he sinks back onto the bed with a deep sigh. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I just--"
Pavel shakes his head. "No, I understand. Is okay." But his eyes are wet and his chin is trembling, and Hikaru knows it's not okay at all.
He sits down beside Pavel, wraps an arm around his shoulders, and Pavel leans against him and sobs. "I'm sorry," he chokes out, "I don't mean to bother you, I just--" He swallows. "I don't want to be alone."
"You don't have to be sorry for anything." Hikaru rests his cheek against the top of Pavel's head, breathes in the smell of his hair. "You weren't bothering me, I just wanted a break is all--but I'll stay if you want me to."
Pavel sniffles and wipes at his eyes. "You can go," he says. "I will be fine." But his voice comes out sounding tiny and broken, and once again, Hikaru doubts that he'll be fine.
"What's got you all shaken up, anyway?" he asks.
"Back on Vulcan," Pavel says shakily, "when you were falling--I knew I could save you, but right before you beamed aboard, right up until I saw you with my own eyes, I was afraid I had failed, that I had made a mistake somehow, that you hadn't made it. And when I did fail, when Spock's mother died, I was so--" He breaks off, sobbing again. "If you hadn't been there beside me, I don't know what I would have done." Hikaru holds him tightly, feeling as though his heart might split right down the middle. Pavel continues, "And now my roommate is dead, and if you leave me, I do not think I will be able to sleep, or if I do I will have nightmares--just, please, Hikaru, stay with me."
Pavel falls apart completely, his tears soaking through Hikaru's shirt, and Hikaru rubs his back and whispers endearments and meaningless words of comfort into his ear. When he finally calms down, Hikaru takes ahold of Pavel's chin and tilts his face upward so he can look into his eyes. "I'll stay," he says solemnly.
"Only if you want to." Pavel's voice is completely wrecked now.
"I do." Hikaru plants a kiss on Pavel's cheek, tears smudging under his lips. "I do," he says again, and kisses Pavel full on the mouth.
Pavel melts into him, his lips parting, a soft moan escaping from between them. The tip of his tongue darts into Hikaru's mouth, and he shivers, his hand fisted in the back of Pavel's shirt. His pants are starting to feel too tight; his exhaustion of ten minutes ago has apparently vanished.
Pavel breaks away, gasping. "Hikaru," he pants, "please, I want...." He trails off, staring desperately into Hikaru's eyes.
"What?" Hikaru strokes Pavel's cheek, still wet with tears. "I'll do anything, baby, just tell me what you want."
Pavel leans into his touch and whimpers. "Your mouth," he says, "suck me, please."
Hikaru doesn't need to be told twice. He strips Pavel's shirt off and works his way downward, nipping and sucking at his lovely pale skin. Pavel whimpers and twines his fingers in Hikaru's hair. Hikaru unbuttons Pavel's pants and slowly peels them off, his mouth watering at the sight of Pavel's cock, hard and red and pointing upward.
Pavel gasps sharply as Hikaru's mouth closes around the head of his cock. Hikaru has never given a blowjob before and is deathly afraid he'll screw up somehow, but he doubts he's doing that bad a job, if the noises Pavel is making are any indication. Pavel grasps at whatever he can reach--Hikaru's hair, his shoulders, the bedspread--before crying out something in Russian and coming explosively in Hikaru's mouth. Before Hikaru can swallow it all, Pavel is yanking him up by his collar and kissing him deeply, licking his own come off Hikaru's tongue.
Pavel reaches down and shoves his hand into Hikaru's pants, palming his cock. "Want to make you come," he murmurs against Hikaru's lips, and Hikaru moans a little and thrusts forward into Pavel's hand. All it takes is a few strokes, and Hikaru loses control, whimpering helplessly and coming in his pants like a teenager.
Afterwards, Pavel helps him out of his clothes and leads him into the bathroom. Hikaru slumps bonelessly against him in the shower, relaxes under the hot water and Pavel's tender ministrations, until Pavel finally turns off the water and leads him back to bed.
"I want to spend tomorrow night with you," Hikaru mumbles, already half asleep, "and the next night, and every single night after that."
Pavel laughs softly and snuggles up against Hikaru's chest. "Every night of our five-year mission?"
"And beyond." Pavel fits in Hikaru's arms so perfectly, small and soft and warm, that Hikaru wonders how he ever managed to sleep without him.